I got a call from someone recently who was super angry. She called because she wanted me to ‘walk her off the ledge’ and prevent her calling someone who had been talking badly about her. She knew exactly what I was going to say because it’s something I’ve worked very hard to implement in my own life. And it’s this:
Don’t respond back to the hate. Just let it slide off your back like water on a duck
But I want to respond!
I can totally relate to feeling frustrated and angry when you feel attacked and disrespected. By not responding to the hate or defending yourself, it feels like the person is getting away with ‘murder’. And that is just not satisfying!
But in many instances, being unapologetically full of smiles and silent is golden. It upsets that naysayer oh-so-very-much! Their mouth waters for drama. They crave it like many of us crave chocolate. They’re eagerly awaiting a reaction from you. And by not giving it to them, you deny them power over you. Can I get an AMEN!
It takes more strength to walk away then it does to engage in drama. Also, drama is so draining! Wouldn’t you prefer to put your energy into something you enjoy?
If all of that’s not reason enough to avoid drama, consider this: by engaging in it, you invite more into your life.
But hey, if you really enjoy the drama, then by all means pick up that phone and give that person of piece of your mind. Before you do though, take some time to think back to when you last did that. Did that really make you feel better? Be honest.
Putting it in practice
I had a few things of my own go down this week. Someone called one of my coaching colleagues and myself idiots for a business comment we made on social media. But neither one of us addressed it - or even talked about it - because it was meaningless.
In the past, I would’ve been pissed for the entire day and 100% responded back. But when I read it, I remembered a quote from George Bernard that I love:
“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”
And that helped me choose a path of disengagement, rather than response.
Now, I do acknowledge not responding isn’t going to work all the time. There are going to be instances where stepping up is the right thing to do. But be discerning in choosing what you want to address, and what’s worth addressing. Is it just that your ego is hurt?
As long as you know who you are, it really doesn’t matter what others say. When you are living your life unapologetically, the only person you need to answer to is … you.