Many of my coaching clients face relationship challenges. Usually they feel like they aren’t being heard, seen, supported or appreciated. You’re probably nodding your head right now having experienced at least one of these feelings! But there are a few things you can do to work on your relationships and ensure you move forward into a place of love, rather than darkness.

FAIRY TALE RELATIONSHIPS ARE A MYTH

Society leads us to falsely believe that one day we’ll all find our one true prince or princess charming and when we do, they will complete us. The world will suddenly become a magical place and we’ll live happily ever after … but that is not reality.

COMPLETE YOURSELF

Yes, relationships can be amazing, absolutely. When you find someone you truly connect with and nurture that connection, your life is all the richer. But there’s also a trap many of us fall into - we think that someone else has to complete us. We need them to make us happy and meet our every need. Damn, that sure is a stressful task to assign to someone!

If we don’t work on ourselves first - and find happiness within us - we are always going to suffer in any relationship, be it partner, friend, child etc.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

We also need to check our expectations. We’re unique beings, on our own journey of learning and growth. It’s crazy to expect your significant other to read your mind, or have the same perspective on everything.

Recognize there will be times you won’t be on the same page and that is ok. Don’t try to force the other person to get on your page. If you do, their resistance will cause a whole ‘nother set of problems!

Let go of the controls and respect where they are. After all, would you want to be controlled and manipulated to do something you weren’t ready for? HELL NO! Your response would be to fight it all the way, right?

THE HARD YARDS

This is all easier said than done … I get that. But when you’re facing a challenge with another person, approach it with love, compassion and curiosity. If they’re hurting you with their words or actions, it’s probably not about you. It will likely be about their fears and insecurities. When you approach this challenge from a place of curiosity and love - instead of fear and aggression - something amazing will happen.

THE REWARDS ARE TEN-FOLD

I’ve been lucky enough to see some of my clients transform their relationships from darkness to love and light. It’s the most wonderful thing to hear and see! However, I know this change didn’t happen overnight. And sometimes, it doesn’t happen at all as some relationships just naturally end.

But know this - people come into our lives for a season, a reason, or a lifetime, and they always teach us a lesson and expand our growth. If we realize we are all here on this planet as students and teachers to each other, just imagine how amazing our relationships can be. Are you ready to work on yours?