We learn at such a young age (well, at least I did!) that making mistakes is an absolute no-no. At that impressionable age, we then create a belief that tells us mistakes are bad. And so we begin our walk into perfectionism.
In reality, there ain’t no perfect however, there’s perfect around us every day. Confusing, right?? You see, when I woke up this morning, it was perfect just the way it was. However, if I focused on the fact I got up later than I anticipated, then suddenly my morning was far less than perfect!
Perfectionism really holds us back. It keeps us from living our lives to the fullest, it steals our joy, and it robs us of time. When you look at it, perfectionism is just a form of fear – a fear of failure. But in reality, failure is precisely how we learn!
Now when you’re taught from a young age (like me!) that you cannot fail, that really messes with your reality … especially as it’s not even realistic! Does a newborn pop out of the womb ready to walk? No, of course not. Are you going to yell at that newborn when they attempt to walk and fall flat on their face? Oh wait, what???? A newborn can’t walk when they come out of the womb! They must first learn to lift their head. So are you going to yell and curse at them as they try to do this? Of course you aren’t. You’ll be gentle and compassionate, caressing their head and showing them love and support as they make their attempts to lift their head.
But as adults, we don’t do this with ourselves. We just get all terrified of making mistakes and failing. I’m here to tell you that there’s no failure my sweet friend, it’s all feedback. As you walk this journey called life, you’ll make many mistakes. But it’s important to see they’re helping you gather information to make better decisions the next time around – call it life experience and wisdom.
Once I changed my perspective on mistakes, I gained a new sense of courage. As I looked back on my life, I realized that all of the mistakes I viewed as failures were not failures at all. They were learning experiences! The minor failures I had that taught me lessons saved me from even greater failures on the road of life I had ahead.
Now if you keep making the same mistake over and over, then it really isn’t a mistake. It’s a choice and it may be time to own it. As our failures are lessons in disguise, the universe will keep throwing us the same lesson until we learn it.
Here’s the scary part - if we don’t learn the lesson on the first round, we’ll continue to fail and those failures will just get more challenging … that is until we learn what we’re meant to learn. I call the challenging-as-fuck situation a cosmic 2x4 hitting me across the head because I didn’t learn from the gentler failures. Funny but not so funny!
My sweet friend, the next time you believe you’ve failed, step back and make an effort to see the lesson that is being presented to you. Doing so will help you climb off the dreaded path of perfectionism; the one that keeps you stuck in mediocre. Own the failure and take the step to greatness instead.